World Destruction!

Happy end of the world everyone!  Total annihilation never felt better.

I'm going to go get a drink now.  Perhaps toast Harold Camping on his next apocalyptic miscalculation.

My Apologies

Absenteeism

Please accept my apologies for not posting for this past while.  Work, the advent of spring and all the work that entails, renovations, and an injured back have all conspired to keep me from getting any new posts up.

I will, however, in the next couple of days (hopefully tonight), have part 2 of my series on Original Sin up for you to read.

In the meanwhile, I hope you're doing well.

38% of Americans Are Insane

What happened in Japan recently was terrible. The aftermath, and continued crisis is devastating. But is it "divine retribution," as one Japanese official put it? 38% of Americans seem to think so. So, with a well-deserved leap over the middle (the excluded one, that is), I have concluded that of those Americans polled, 38% of them are utterly insane.

What causes an earthquake is pretty basic: shifting of tectonic plates.  It is a natural occurence not needing divine prompting.  If God sees fit to dip his hand into the Sisyphean burden of pushing giant rocks, well then whatever.  Who's going to argue?  In the meanwhile, until we have some evidence of that reality, I'm content to take the operations of the planet on an evidentiary, naturalistic basis.  Because I'm not insane.

*Thank you Atheist Media Blog for this gem.

Happy Meal Half-Life

If you leave food on the counter, or somehow exposed, the best predictions would assure us that that food will rot. How long it takes may vary. But the long and the short of exposed food is that it will rot. Simple wisdom.

How complicated things must get then, when that wisdom is confounded by McDonald's Happy Meal. Author Nonna Joann Bruso has been keeping an online journal about the half-life of the Happy Meal. So far, a year has gone by, and the meal has shown no signs of rot, moulding, or decay.

My Conclusion: Food that doesn't break down is not actually food. The infamous Happy Meal may be one of North America's most gleefully recognised packages, but if it defies natural order, it is a paragon of sickness, uselessness, and a plague more than a food. The FDA really ought to have pseudo-foods like this incinerated. Permanently. McDonald's may have the golden arches, but it is inescapably obvious that "all that glitters is not [actually] gold."

*Thanks to the lads at BoingBoing for tipping me off to Bruso's experiment.*

Justice Is Served! Take That, You Big Meany

Wow.  Talk about hardcore justice.  This doctor was jailed for accepting a $0.51 bribe 24 years ago.  And that's after he'd already been tried and let-off once!  I wonder if it cost India $0.51 to process this case for the past 24 years?

Vatican Tube

Catholics can rejoice: the Vatican has its own YouTube channel.

Now all we need is some pesky Catholic blogger to disagree with some Catholic internet practice, and e-nail his/her objection to Wittenburg Door and we'll have a new wave of e-Protestants.

Awesome.

Let the fun begin!

All for One, and One for All

The near future may look very, well, different.

Anti-Christianity and the Burning Stupid

Shall I dissect?  Or shall I have mercy?  I can't decide.

Belligerence, Homosexuality, and Christ's Love

I get it when mainline Christians disagree with the practice of homosexuality. I understand their concern. What I don't understand is why homosexuality is a greater sin in need of garnering more public attention than, say, physical-social-metal-verbal abuse, war, toxic spirituality within the church, indifference, racism, torture, human trafficking, or any number of existing sins within the world.

For that reason, I'm not exactly sure why waging a war via popular media against homosexuals is a necessary manouever. It's not unknown that Christians traditionally disagree with the practice of homosexuality, but why pay for advertising space to push that point when everybody knows that the end of such a tactic is only going to be inflamed tempers, misappropriations, and mud-slinging?

Christians are called to a gospel that prompts love in, with, and through all our actions. Taking out advertising space as a war on homosexual lifestyles is effectively wielding popular media as if it's a firearm. And when weapons are wielded against sinful people, who of us can say that we don't deserve a firearm pointed back at us? Or, as Jesus said, "let the person who is without sin cast the first stone" (John 8:7).

So, while I acknowledge the sin of homosexuality, I'm not concerned to crusade against it so much as I am to love the people who practice it. For which is the greater sin: to practice homosexuality, or to foist belligerence on a group of people all the while claiming it is love? I know my answer. Do you?

Jesus vs. The Beatles

In 1966, on the release of The Beatles' White Album, John Lennon remarked that The Beatles were "more popular than Jesus."

Christians were miffed. Still are, sadly. I guess forgiveness is just an f-word, hey?

How dare a guru of hedonism, celebrity and moral relativisms compare a musical band to Jesus, right? I mean, is there any room for that kind of acrimony, and pomp? What gas was pressuring Lennon's head to such overexpansion?

On the other hand, what was so threatening about Lennon's remark? Would Jesus just 'poof' and disappear if Lennon was right? Were there no considerations for population density in the time of Jesus versus the world in 1966? That is, if The Beatles were utilizing much better technology to broadcast their catchy little songs to a much more populous world than the verbal ambulations of a single prophet, doesn't it stand to reason that The Beatles were quite probably more popular than Jesus? If world tours are pitted against littoral orations in Israel 2000+ years ago, wouldn't the likelihood of The Beatles winning a popularity contest start to unfold in their favour?

I would think so.

Nevertheless, 42 years have capered by, and now we're seeing experts deciding on the legitimacy and 'rightness' of Lennon's statement. Bit late isn't it? No matter, though.

Thankfully, the world's most popular Messiah is not only experiencing the passage of those 42 years, but is also outside them. Dialectically, He's already won the popularity contest before it started! But let's just let Jesus have His Christian-imposed handicap in an effort to pat ourselves on the back for a war well-waged against some upstart English rock-band, shall we? May as well enjoy making a collective ass out of ourselves while Lennon sets the record straight by what he meant:

"It's just an expression meaning the Beatles seem to me to have more influence over youth than Christ," he explained.

And who can blame him for having this perception? Was youth attendance up in the churches in the 1960's such that youth groups could hope to match the fevered pitch, and bra-flinging hysteria of a Beatles concert? Were teenagers desperately and frantically traveling the world singing Psalms and hymns, and gathering in mega-church after mega-church to take in sermons from knarl-knuckled pastors? Or were they throwing themselves blindly at the next scalper, the next Greyhound, the next cheap plane ticket to the next city on the Beatles' map?

I think the answers are pretty plain. I think that 'experts' have been debating the proverbial angels on the heads of proverbial pins. It's a reality, folks: The Beatles had garnered more popularity than Jesus in 1966.

But so what? Who cares? Enjoy their music. Love Christ. Both are good to do. But only one will sing over you. The Beatles can't top that. They never tried to, either.

Peering Into the Obvious

Perhaps it's a bit of an intellectual smugness that pushes me to laugh when I see church factions concerned about divisions within the body. It's a bit of a global contradiction to lament divisions while holding on to titles like Reformed, or Catholic, etc. Still, that's just what's happening.

"The head of the world’s largest group of Reformed churches says that the body of Christ is rendering its own peace message ineffective because of internal divisions and strife at a time when persistent threats to global peace and security make the quest for Christian unity more urgent than ever."

I think those "internal divisions and strife" have been documented from time immemorial, actually. And any time those divisions exist they are an inconvenience to the Church's message, not just now when so many things are going belly up in the world. And since when did the Church hinge its desire for unity on the global events surrounding it? Perhaps such a misapprehension of the Christocentric ontology of the Church is one of the many things causing the divisions experienced in the world today.

Said Setri Nyomi, the General Secretary of the World Alliance of Reformed Churches (*sigh...*) :

“Does the church have a moral voice or credibility when our divisions are so visible?”

Why, yes, actually. Is there even a need to ask that question? Questions like that simply smack of a false humility that doesn't actually connect with the issue it's trying to address. It's feely rhetoric tickling the ears of the undiscerning. And frankly, I find it insulting.

M. Nyomi, have you missed the basic point in your ascendency to the General Secretary's seat that the Church's moral voice is not posited on the perfection of our efforts to appear in any certain way to the world? The Church's moral voice and credibility is not based in our paltry and petty shortcomings. It is, in fact, a voice given from the holy, triune God who lived and died for His people in the person of Christ. That's where the moral voice and credibility of the Church comes from; not our efforts at maintaining a clean slate before the world. As if the world were in a rightful, authoritative, or even purer place to criticize, anyway!

Carrying on with his impassioned (?) plea, Nyomi foibles and fumbles into more of the same soft imperceptions:

“'How can churches and church bodies foster world peace, peace among nations and peace within nations, when there is no peace among themselves, or when injustices that are so much at the heart of conflicts in the world are also found among us?' Nyomi said that the church’s ability to speak credibly and prophetically on issues of peace and justice was at stake if it failed to reconcile its differences."

Well, Nyomi, as much as you might be adverse to thinking so, life is messy. There's a whole lot of 'stuff' the Church, despite its inter-belligerent faults, can do, and is currently doing. Let's not discount effort based on failure. That's just another failure, sir, and you're spearheading that shortsightedness right now.

But more, Nyomi, one of the credible and prophetic realities of the Church is that its failings do not equal an inability to address essential realities such as peace and justice. Or to put it more anecdotally, sir, when I lose my balance, I'm not then unable to address realities such as, say, gravity. Get the point? Good.

“'If we are not united, we are breaking with the Lord of the church, and we are making it difficult for the world to believe,' he said, reminding delegates of Christ’s prayer that his followers would become one."

Yes, you're right: we can't achieve the eschatological ends of the Church previous to God's timing. And I think the disbelief of the rest of the world is based simply on that -- disbelief -- moreso than a messy Church with messy people doing stupid things now-and-then.

Anyway, I can't say I'd like to continue deconstructing Ms. Gold's articles, and Nyomi's overarching and ill-considered comments. So I won't. It's not all bad. It's mostly just political naivety mixed with sophmoric theology rooted in worldly hopes. Poor form.

Little Woman, BIG statement!

High-5 to Dr. Veith for posting this saintly statement.

Breaking Wind, er, News

Wind turbines are growing in popularity as an alternative source of eco-friendly energy. The problem is that people who prop-up wind turbines beside their houses are finding out that, yes, they're eco-friendly, but not people-friendly.

In fact, wind turbines have earned themselves the dubious honour of being a new health problem. It's called Wind Turbine Syndrome, and it's generating a host of medical problems for pockets of the world's populations.

Would it be rude of me to say that this news blew me away?

On The Brink

While the US teeters on the brink of a financial collapse, France is hitting up the European Community for the same solution: a bailout. Does anyone else see this as a big sign for depressive times ahead?

Good. Now...

...if they could just phase out the dead babies problem.  Maybe then there'd be a little more merit to the shot.  Of course there's the whole flawed germ theory.  But we're not counting that.

Harping About Alberta

Primeminister Harpy is shrieking that the Liberals are against Alberta.  I suppose if they are it's a bit of a tempest in a teapot given Harpy's anti-Canada-make-me-an-American stance.  Nice try Harpy-boy.  Go crawl in a hole somewhere.

Let Them Eat Metal

Huh. How ironic that the Mercury News would spotlight a column on the flu vaccine. I wonder how many aborted human fetal tissues went into this new elixir? But more than ever, children between the ages of 6 - 18 should sssssssuuuuuuuppppprrrreeeessssssss those antigens, and numb their bodies to the effects of pathogens. Now you can have your flu and not feel it, too!

1 For Theists, 0 For Atheists

An interesting study shows that atheists display a greater penchant for superstitious beliefs than do theists.  Granted, the atheist considers theism an expression of superstition, but the bar for rationality seems set a little higher on the theist's side.

Brave New Church

It's reasonable to define yourself and your function by accepted norms. That's why Bill Hybels has defined his pastorate as being a pastor. Dig it:

“Pastor Bill Hybels did not give his life to the development of the local church just to gather a bunch of casual Christians, he says. He gave it to see people far from God find the love of Christ and fully devote themselves to God and what He is doing.”

You see? Bill Hybels became a pastor so he could do what other pastors are doing: lead people into a devoted life under Christ. Isn't it nice that this celebrity Christian can garner so much attention in the media by being all pastory and stuff? Or is there more?

“Expressing similar sentiments, Pastor Tim Gray of Bridge Community Church, a congregation of 400 in Leadington, Montana, says, 'We're called to make disciples ... not members, not pew-sitters.'"

Very good. Membership does not equal discipleship. Has any of this struck you as newsworthy, yet?

“Many pastors would agree. But since the early Christian church, pastors have only had three ways to measure the spiritual growth of churchgoers and assess how effective churches were in developing Christ followers and not 'pew-sitters'.”

Really? Only three? Hmm...

“Those three methods were attendance, baptisms (or conversions), and resources (ie tithing), at least according to Cally Parkinson of Willow Creek Association.”

Attendence. I suppose. But if I miss a Sunday because this-that-or-the-other thing happens, I can get off lightly with a venial sin in the Catholic Church. So no harm done, really. I mean, if my heart is in the institution, and Christ is only on the periphery of my spiritual life, then I suppose skipping a Sunday really can't amount to spiritual shrinking, can it? Christ's ubiquity in the hearts of all believers... meh. A trifle, really.

And if I'm a good anabaptist, then heaven forbid I miss hearing the pastor's admonishments, and hortatory remarks. For there's nothing like a good pacifist leader to wage war on an absentee regular! But perhaps there's refuge in the mainline traditions? Not so. Instead, missing a Sunday is met with a stern glare, or a shake of the head, a crestfallen glance from the local shepherd who in his spiritual sojourn has somehow misaligned regular attendance with numinal expansion. Again, that pesky notion that the institution can see clearly into the hearts of believers and track their growth – by attendence! Bunk. Pure, unadulterated, shame-faced bunk.

Baptism is a good point. Infant baptism (paedobaptism) gets some people's stomachs roiling, but that's okay. They're allowed to be wrong, too. And beliver's baptism (credobaptism)... well, that's kind of obvious, isn't it? There has to be some growth to get to a point where such a confessional measure happens.

Resources? Is that the early church term? Whatever. I do like the id est (ie) 'tithing' thing, however. Nice touch. I wonder if Ms. Parkinson can establish the biblical warrant for tithing in the New Testament, or if she'd just spout the same old institutional bastardization of “render unto Caesar what is Caesars”? Or draw on the temple robbery happening in Malachi as the fulcrum for tithing now?

So what do we have here: individual spiritual growth is thrown into the hopper with church attendance, statistics on baptism, and how much an overall congregation contributes to its coffers. Hence we can measure an individual's spiritual growth by the fluctuating data of a congregation. Spiffy. Glad that pastor thing is working out for you, Mr. Hybles. We wouldn't want you to have to get on level with the individuals of your congregation and, oh I don't know, talk to them, and learn who they are for real. Tip 'o' the hat to your good Ms. Parkinson for homogenizing people into statistics and data, and then proof-texting her “research” with eisegetic meanderings through the patristic period. Are you really trying to stave off personal accountability via a three-tiered growth chart?

"'Those were your three ways of measuring because you really had no other way to figure out whether or not what you were doing was really helping people become increasingly intimate with Christ and increase their love for God and of others,' said Parkinson, one of the leaders of WCA's Reveal research.”

Ding, ding, ding! And the answer is: yes! You are trying to categorize people's growth by charting their participation in the three 'methods' above.

Interestingly, Ms. Parkinson is not the pastor at Willow Creek. Bill Hybels is, however. And both Bill Hybels, and Ms. Parkinson both missed the glaring point that talking to your congregants, hanging out with them, just simply being with them will give you a better indication of their spiritual wherewithal than trying to spy out their attentions to the 'three historical ways'.

But let's just follow along with the delusion and see where it leads, shall we? Where were we? Oh, yes! There were no other ways to see if people were growing spiritually.

“That is, until now.”

Duh-duh-duh-dah! Ssssssssssuper Church!

“Parkinson and a small team at WCA have recently made available to all churches what has been called a groundbreaking study that provides a “vivid picture of the 'unseen' hearts" of congregants and their spiritual growth. The Reveal Spiritual Life Survey serves as a "lens", as Parkinson explained, for pastors to be able to view where congregants are spiritually.”

Right. Because previously, it was too difficult to just ask. Now, with the advent of Parkinson technology, we can combine a global advertizing strategy with several questions that'll let you know how far under the yoke of the law you should be! Wanna work for your spiritual supper? Here's how you can do it, folks. Just sign up now, and take the Reveal Spiritual Life Survey to find out if you're passing or failing in God's eyes. Then, once you know, you can turn up the heat, or kick up your feet. It all depends on how well Reveal says you've grown. Isn't it nice to know someone out there can see you better through a 'lens' of paper than your own local pastor can by taking a moment to meet with you?

But wait! It gets better. Once all the data is in on your congregation, you can tell if your church is close to God, or far from Him. Because, hey! when it all comes together, and you've answered a series of static questions designed to tally up the dynamic person you, and others around you are, you'll have a clearer picture of you and your congregation's proximity to God. Hell, throw in a psychometrist or two, and have them apply the Flynn Effect over a generation or two and we'll be able to see what side of the bell-curve people are falling on over time. It's not an IQ test. It's not even an EQ test. It's a spiffy, hopped up, revolutionary SQ test – the Spiritual Quotient test!

“So far, more than 500 churches and half a million congregants have taken the survey and many have found the results surprising.”

I'm surprised they've been able to sucker this many congregations and people into this neo-gnostic crapolla.

“Willow Creek Community Church was the first to take the survey in 2004. At that time, the influential megachurch in South Barrington, Illinois, was at a crossroads, according to Parkinson, as they were in the midst of building a new 7,200-seat auditorium but was also at the end of their strategic planning cycle.”

So, naturally, being at the end of their strategic planning cycle...

"'It was like where is the church going next?' Parkinson said.”

It was 'like' that was it? I fail to see the simile.

I do see the similarity, however, between building a new 7,200 seat auditorium, coming to the end of a strategic planning cycle and wondering how the %$#% you're going to foot the bill for such a colossal building. Sly. Very sly.

The Catholics did this sort of thing, too, when they were building St. Peter's Cathedral off the backs of the peasantry.  Luther was pissed, made it known, and the church hasn't been the same since.  So let's forget about history, hey?  Let's just repeat our mistakes and chalk it up to innovation.   Awesome.

“Then out of what Parkinson described as a divine, extraordinary coming together of circumstances, the Reveal study was born and soon survey findings at Willow Creek and six other churches across the country rocked the megachurch.”

It's always nice when some crafty little plan to garner money from unwitting believers can be tagged with God's divine approval. Must boost one's sense of overall importance. It's like popular escatology that way, I suppose.

“Among the findings, what 'really caught us off guard' was the discovery that involvement in church activities does not predict or drive long-term spiritual growth, Reveal's leadership stated in Reveal: Where Are You?".

You don't say. No, you did say. And you wasted everyone's time with the obvious on that one, too. Who woulda thunk that the whole argument for measuring spiritual growth by overall attendence in church would turn out to be bunk? Pure, unadulterated, shame-faced bunk.

Anyway, the article goes on at torturous lengths citing quote after quote of rabid stupidity from these hyped-up uber-leaders. Their pride over their spiritual life inventory has all the plush and glow of one of Huxley's evenings at the feelies, and all the invasive qualities of a finger in the eye. This kind of spiritual gobbledygook really grates on my nerves.

With all their crackpot notions of 'It', and their misinformed slants on leadership, I'm sure they'll attenuate their spiritual eugenics program and divide the Alpha Plus Spirituals from the Epsilons any day now.

Brave new church, indeed.

Sillifying the Pope

So France is re-thinking its staunch secularism. Okay, that's all good and stuff, but something strikes me as a little odd about this article, and others of its sort. In short, why, when the pope is involved in something, do reporters almost invariably quote ambiguous, seemingly out-of-context, and two-dimensional remarks from the Catholic Church's top-dog?

For example, France has had a long train of secular leaders and made a tradition out of keeping church and politics separate. The pope comes along and says that the church won't claim the state's place -- damn! there go the aspirations to resurrect the Carolingian and Avignon jurisdictions -- which is a significant admission, overall. However, reporting on the historic event of the pope's soirée in France, Ms. Gold was only able to cut-and-paste the following wisps of the pope's speech during an open-air mass for her conclusion:

"The Pope urged the pilgrims not to lose hope in the face of challenges.

'The power of love is stronger than the evil which threatens us,' he said, later adding, 'Do not allow yourselves to be discouraged by difficulties.'”

Umm... what difficulties are those, Ms. Gold? Would you mind furnishing us with some of the rest of the pope's speech? 'Cause right now, I'm a-thinkin' that il papa is pulling rabbits out of his pointy hat. Is it just that making the transition from a secular to a secular-sacred state would ruffle some feathers? And is that really what M. Sarkozy's meeting with the pope was really about? You know, converting France's political structure to accept the immanence of religious perspectives in the design, implementation, and administration of legislations? Or was it just that Sarkozy, being a lapsed Catholic himself, felt the need to be a little more cordial than previous presidents?

In any case, Benedict XVI was kind enough to give us all a throw back to the 80's with his Huey Lewis quote, "the power of love". The Cardinal-cum-Papa has a little hipster in him afterall, hey? Good on him!