"Isn't it about time for Christian kids to lead the fight against secular pajamas? Yes it is! And what better way to do it than by getting them into costumes straight out of the good old days of the Crusades. These amazingly realistic PJs are silver coloured so they actually look like medieval armor – but don't worry, Mom, they're not really made from steel!
Kids just love donning the breastplate of righteousness, being girt with the belt of truth and taking up the pillow of faith at bedtime. And meanwhile, you can sleep easy. Don't let it bother you for a moment that when your offspring grow up, it will take years of expensive therapy for them to get over this and all the other fundamentalist looney tunes you've imposed on them!
Buy your Armor of God PJs now! Only $39.95 plus shipping. Available from these Bible-believing folks in Florida."