Being as the concerned board-member is an atheist, he wanted to seek out advice for how to handle the situation.
The most creative response so far has been the following:
Recite this prayer:My abdomen now hurts from laughing too hard.
"Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, At home as it is in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the beer, The bitter, The lager.
What would you suggest this atheist do?