Friday, January 8, 2010

Jesus The Bruiser

At some point there has to be an end to this kind of absurdity. I'm talking about the absurdity of seeing Jesus in things like irons, mirrors, or MRIs. Yeah, sure, maybe you saw a face and it had a similar look to the typical pale-skinned messiah so often depicted just inside the narthex of local churches, or hanging on the sanctuary doors, maybe even adorning a spot above the sink in the vestry.

In any case, have God and his heavenly attendees become so bored that they've reduced their theophanies to mundane objects like toast and irons and mirrors? Have miracles (e.g., water into wine, resurrection, curing leprosy, et al.) become somewhat passé such that God and the saints are aiming on level with supra-blah?

It's one thing to be devoted. It's another thing to be kinda weird. I see patterns, faces, animals, common objects, and symbols almost every time I look at a stippled ceiling, or a ceiling with those awful dropped-tiles so popular in offices. I don't chalk those coincidental visual cognates up to a miracle, or preserve them somehow so I can sell them on eBay for $28,000. 'Cause that's just crazy!


Skeptigirl said...

Come on, there is money to be made here. Maybe you should look harder, that is your problem. If people are told there is Mary or Jesus on something they are more likely to see it and pay you money for looking at it.

Christopher said...


You could be on to something. Perhaps I spoke in haste. Maybe I should be looking for deceased holy people, and Jesus in my food. Maybe I should just make it all up by doing some fancy knife-work with my steak. Sell the result for a deal on eBay -- say, $30,000.

Keep doing that, and I could rack up quite a tidy bankroll. It would solve a lot of difficulties, that's for sure. Self-styled miracles could make me a profit. Heh! I could 'indulge' in the activity and make myself a nice, little basillica to live in while I pontificate about art and dietary holiness.


Anonymous said...

What're you talkin' about ! Looks like Jesus to me!
I think they were selling a Cheezie online that looked like Jesus.

Nick said...

I took a picture once overlooking the grand river in Kitchener, Ontairo. After having developed the photo I noticed an entire tree across the river that looked like this head with a big round afro hairdoo.
Thinking about it now, how could I have missed the miracle that it was really Jesus with an afro hairdoo?!